The Wright Stuff: Become Someone You Like and Who People Want to Follow

Editor’s Note: The Wright Stuff is a series of practical, actionable articles meant to help us grow and navigate our lives and careers. The author hopes to provide perspective and lessons learned (many times the hard way) that can hopefully be applied by you to find purpose, joy, and meaning in your chosen pursuits.

Who do you want to be?

There are many different types of people and personalities you will work with over your career. Some you will like working with, and some you won’t. The question is, who do you want to be? What do you want your legacy to be? You have a choice; be selective and intentional about your choices and direction. Becoming self-aware of your responses and how you interact with others will be critical to your growth. When you are younger, you don't necessarily think about your legacy or how you want to be remembered. I know I didn’t care and, as a result, did some pretty stupid stuff.

It all starts with being trustworthy. That is, being someone people trust and want on their team—someone they want to work with. Everything starts with being trustworthy and building trust. To do that, you must show up, do what you say you are going to do, and be there when people need you. If you make a mistake, own it, learn from it, move on, and try not to make the same mistake again. You are leading every day; people are watching at home, at your place of worship, and at work, especially when you are serving others. This applies no matter where you are in your career, whether you are just starting out as a doer or moving into a decision-making role in a small team or a company.

One of my favorite sayings is a quote from Donald H. McGannon: “Leadership is not position or title, leadership is action.”

Back in the 1990s, when I was leading a small startup business in the United States, I caught myself worrying much more about my title and position in the company rather than going out and doing the things I knew it took to build a company. In hindsight, I learned much from not doing the right thing and doing too much of the wrong thing, which has stayed with me my entire life and career. I tend to learn more from my failures than from my successes, as they tend to stick with me longer. 

True leadership starts from within us. Are we self-aware? Do we want to help others succeed for the common good, or do we only care about ourselves? For some, it stays mostly about “me.” The most admirable ones, however, are truly serving and trying to help others succeed. As I have grown and, dare I say, matured (those who know me probably don’t think I have grown up, but hopefully I have learned a thing or two), I have tried to help and mentor those around me where I can. Some want it, some do not!

Zig Ziglar used to say, “You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” (If you’re not familiar with Zig, I highly recommend Googling him. You will enjoy listening to him.)

A Personal Story

I have had several excellent mentors over my career, one of the first being Ted Day, my maintenance manager at the Tosco refinery where I started my career. Ted was a World War II veteran and was very tough. He, along with my dad, Bob Senior, taught me – a very young and naive engineer – about perseverance, attention to detail, how to deal with adversity, and, probably most importantly, to never give up. When I left the refinery, he gave me a small plaque that read “Illegitimi Non Carborundum,” which loosely translates to “Don't let the bastards grind you down.”

One of my favorite mentors and supporters was Dr. Joe Fowler, President and Co-Founder of Stress Engineering Services. He had a way of getting the best out of me and everyone who worked for him. He taught me that being a leader meant being a servant to your team and others and, most importantly, helping people succeed. He was a cheerleader, a people person, and inspirational, as well as being technically gifted – a rare combination of traits. He could get the best out of most of us type-A personalities and fostered an environment where we could play nicely with each other.

Here are a few of his “Joe-isms”:

1. Hire good people you don’t have to micromanage.
2. Create a vision where people understand what you are trying to do and how they fit in.
3. Create a culture where you are expected to work together and help each other; incentivize accordingly.
4. Get the right people on the bus and put them in the right seats.
5. Have a common goal. Serve each other and the client to help them succeed.

I moved from Stress Engineering Services to Becht Engineering in 2018, which provided me with the opportunity to work for and alongside Charles (Chuck) Becht IV and his family in a family-owned and operated engineering solutions business. This has been a huge blessing for me! When I asked Chuck the same questions I had asked Joe, Chuck offered almost the exact same thoughts:

1. Create an organization that people are proud to be a part of.
2. Build a culture of helping each other and clients succeed.
3. Hire the best people who love what they do and let them do it; don’t micromanage.
4. If people don’t work out and are toxic, it is best for them and the company to find somewhere else to work.
5. Provide opportunities for people to grow.

Does this sound familiar? Yes, it does because, to me, these core values are critical; I have seen them work over the last 30 years. Conversely, I have seen people and companies fail when they don’t follow these fundamental values.

Building culture, establishing trust, hiring the right people, letting them do what they love, and helping each other be successful. These are the keys.

Parting Thoughts

In closing, I truly enjoy helping others and getting fulfillment from that. I want to make sure my family gets as much attention, or more, as this has not always been the case and I am not always the man I want to be, per above but it is a process for me of continual growth, self-reflection and sanctification in the crucible of life. This is what I want my legacy to be: owning my mistakes, putting them behind me and turning them into life lessons I can live by and pass along to others where possible.  I want to spend more time with my family and extended family. My last few years working with my friends and team members have made me want to work and get closer to my lovely wife, Patty, who is constantly reminding me I can do better, my two sons, Eric and Aaron, my daughter, Katy, (who is my master editor and constant positive voice to be a better person) and my grandkids. I’m trying to help them wherever I can so they can learn from my mistakes and hopefully not repeat them, to build successful lives, families, and careers.

Remember: leadership is about “action” and serving family and co-workers, not position; the higher you move up the ladder, the more you will have to give of yourself.

You can do this from wherever you are and whatever station in life you are currently in!